The conversation I want to initiate today through this blog post is one of the more notable core values that I hold as a survivor and someone who works with other survivors. It is one of the first podcast episodes I published back in 2021 that I still believe to be an important topic of discussion. This topic is why I believe all survivors.

This commitment I made to myself years ago is something I’ve always felt very passionate about.

I believe all survivors. Period. End of sentence.

I will shout it from the rooftops any time I get the chance!

Anytime we talk about survivors, the debate on whether or not a survivor or their trauma is “believable” inevitably comes up.

As a social justice movement, it is an exceedingly important commitment to call out rape culture by believing all survivors. I firmly believe that this is where we start with changing that culture.

We must accept any survivor who comes forward to report sexual assault, rape, sexual coercion, or sexual harassment. Belief must be our default.

This blog post is dedicated to why I hold this immutable value. I’ll also touch on the common reasons why most people don’t believe all survivors and statistics and science regarding false allegations and false reports.

But first…

Why is believing survivors so important?

Ultimately, we want to end rape and rape culture. But first, we must be able to identify this deeply rooted culture and call out its many forms.

Believing the people who have suffered at the hands of rape culture will help us truly understand what it is and why it persists. It will liberate survivors and help them recover once we acknowledge their trauma and trust their stories.

Many survivors finally feel empowered to talk about what happened, knowing a validating and accepting person is holding space for them. For many of us, it was that initial moment of being believed that finally catapulted us into true recovery.

Personally, I kept my story very private. Only a few people knew what had happened because I chose to keep it so close to the vest.

Being believed was the first time that I truly started feeling safe in the world. This idea of being known by others for the reality of who I am and what I’m going through made me feel much more present in my life again.

This is not to say that all survivors should report or discuss what happened openly. There's nothing wrong with keeping your trauma private, and there are no “shoulds” when it comes to recovering from a trauma.

When we believe survivors, we open them up to a community of support so they can feel held and validated.

Another huge reason why we should believe all survivors is so we can reduce and even eliminate the gaslighting they feel from other people.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a mechanism used to strip somebody of power because their truth is threatening. When we know the reality of sexual assault, how it happens, and how it impacts people, there is no "truth" to grapple with.

We can also repair the internalized gaslighting that some survivors harbor. Many individuals gaslight themselves when they start to doubt their own reality or intuition.

Once believing becomes the standard, more survivors will feel comfortable coming forward and reporting what happened to them.

One of the top reasons why individuals don’t report is because they know they won’t be believed.

The more we practice this principle, we’ll see a shift in survivors feeling safer to come forward, get more information about what happened, and see the justice system start to change.

One detail I want to make very clear is that the survivor is never responsible for bringing the perpetrator justice. Survivors should never be held accountable for making the world safer by getting perpetrators off the streets. It was never their responsibility to make sure that person never harmed them. It was the perpetrator's responsibility not to harm people.

We don’t want to pressure survivors to report, but more survivors will come forward when we create safety and a community for reports to be made without pain, suffering, gaslighting, and doubt.

On an individual level, believing a survivor is just supporting their recovery. It establishes a sense of safety by holding the truth for them. Anyone who has ever suffered from trauma, especially sexual trauma, will always live their lives and navigate their relationships by assessing and establishing safety.

This will always be a priority, whether it’s conscious or unconscious.

Being believed builds community and connection, and research shows that social support and connection to social support always predict better trauma recovery outcomes.

When we assume survivors are telling the truth, we shift paradigms in ways that enable us to see the world as it is and, therefore, change it.

Sovereignty will be achieved when we believe all survivors.

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What happens when we don't believe survivors

If there is one thing to take away from this blog, let it be this: No armchair expert has enough information to define or determine if a report or allegation is false.

There will always be the “ya, but”-ers who have a multitude of reasons as to why we can’t believe all survivors.

When people say that they don’t believe a person coming forward for whatever reason, it is just the individual’s bias and prejudice coming to light.

Our role is not to be an investigator. It is not up to us to determine the truth of the matter, BUT what we say and do in reaction will always impact the survivor.

Will we create and contribute a community of support, belief, validation, and safety, or will we continue to reinforce the enabling of rapists?

At best, what happens when we doubt survivors is we allow the system to persist and we turn a blind eye. At worst, we reinforce the perpetrators and send a message that their actions are acceptable and not something we want to challenge.

When we doubt survivors, we confirm for the rapist that what they did was okay and that they were entitled to treat people this way.

We establish the idea that victims and survivors are the ones to carry the burden of the consequences of the rapists’ actions.

My role is to be supportive, create safety, and promote healing. I can’t simultaneously take on this role while doubting survivors.

I will never do anything that makes life easy for a perpetrator.

Sexual Assault Facts

To begin, false allegations pose no threat to our society.

When it comes to the statistics on reports, I am of the opinion that they aren’t relevant or productive in this discussion. But because false allegations are consistently brought up, I will examine them anyway.

Let me paint you a picture…

2 out of 3 sexual assaults go unreported, meaning 65-66% of all assaults are never reported.
Anywhere from 80-90% of assaults are committed by someone the victim knows.
Out of 1,000 assaults, only 310 are reported. Only 50 of the 310 reported cases will lead to arrests, and 25 will result in incarceration.
Of the 1,000 assaults, 975 will get off without consequences.

As we can see, even when survivors do report, very little is actually done.

By and large, we see the rate of false reports is incredibly low, especially when we know how many assaults go unreported.

Many studies that report false allegations have differing definitions of what a false allegation is; often, reports aren’t false but fall into the category of unfounded reports.

An unfounded report is when a report has been made, it is believed to be truthful, but there isn’t enough collectible evidence for it to advance into pressing charges. This is very common with sexual assault and rape. There is not enough evidence, or the report isn’t followed up, so even though it is believed to be truthful, it is considered an unfounded report.

A true false report means that it has been factually proved to have never occurred the way it was reported or at all.

Inconsistent definitions of false reporting can sometimes include things like insufficient evidence or a delay in reporting, neither of which means false. A victim “not cooperating with police” can also be considered a false report. This label typically implies the victim didn’t return calls, didn’t provide evidence, or chose not to press charges altogether.

Inconsistencies in the report may also be considered false reports. When trauma occurs, sometimes our brains remember things differently than how they happened, or they only remember bits and pieces of the experience.

We have found that the rate of false reporting is grossly inflated because of these numerous inconsistencies.

The determination that a report of sexual assault is false can be made only if the evidence establishes that no crime was committed or attempted. All definitions must exclude insufficient evidence, delayed reporting, and victims deciding “not to cooperate.”

The International Association of Chiefs of Police upholds that to determine whether a report was false, the evidence must establish that no crime was committed or attempted. All of our studies are unreliable as they include data that are not accurate and do not uphold the definition that the IACP upholds.

These varying definitions and unreliable data are part of why report statistics shouldn’t be included in this conversation. We simply don’t have an accurate read.

These unreliable reports show that false allegations range from 2-10%. If we include all rapes that occur, including the ones that go unreported, then the number of false allegations drops to around .5% of all reports.

We don’t have enough information, but the information we do have shows that these incidences are extremely low. Lower than false allegations for any other crime.

Knowing this makes it clear why believing survivors is so crucial. When we don’t believe them, we reinforce rape.

Ultimately, the question to ask yourself is, what team are you on? Are you going to be on the team that backs rape, or are you on the team that is working to establish safety and sovereignty?

I want to end this conversation by reiterating this statement one last time: I believe all survivors.

I approach all survivors with this commitment in both my personal and professional life. When we assume a survivor is telling the truth, we enable the community to take corrective action and make change.

I hope you can take a lot away from this conversation, and I hope this blog post gave some insightful perspective on why I’ve taken this stance.

This is where I come from. This is a value that I hold unwaveringly. This is where I operate every single day.

Let us all make the commitment together!

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You can listen to this episode on my Podcast, “Initiated Survivor.” The episode is titled “Why I Believe All Survivors” and is available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify!

Until next time!