Internalized Gaslighting
Internalized gaslighting is essentially when we’ve been gaslit so much (by the world, our community, rape culture, an abuser) that our mindset has shifted, and we begin doing it to ourselves. Our automatic thoughts end up being ones that question our sanity or sense of reality. Gaslighting is a transactional process in a relationship where, by means of psychological manipulation, someone is deliberately and consciously trying to make another person question their sense of reality or their sanity. This tactic is something we commonly see in abusive relationships, and it is considered to be a method of psychological abuse.
Trauma Defined: How Do I Know If I Have Trauma?
When defining trauma, psychologists get more specific by separating experiences into three categories:
Trauma exposure
Trauma response
Ongoing trauma symptoms
When people think about trauma, a variety of explanations come to mind. Part of the reason there are so many different definitions of trauma - and part of the reason I do this podcast - is because society has generalized this word to the point where it is now unclear and all-encompassing.
Nurturing Trauma Through Community
Connecting to the community can not only help us recover but help us thrive and work to change our culture as a whole into a space where rape and rape culture no longer exists. My incredible guest today is Olivia Pepper. They are a star poet, a practicing mystic and ritualist, a community organizer, and a fellow survivor. It is my personal suspicion that they are also secretly a super-gifted healer for our community. Part of what makes this so beautiful is how this is what it feels like it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to have community surround us, but there’s a shame that survivors have internalized. Survivors are seen as burdens, and we carry this shame of being othered by society. This idea that we’re not supposed to bother people and intrude on anyone’s lives plagues us. To hear that nature intended for us to be centered and have love, community, and care wrapped around us is inspiring. Being in the center feels almost like we’re the most valued rather than the ones cast out. Instead of saying, “You’re ruining this for the rest of us. We’re going to let you go,” we say, “You’re so important. Let’s layer community members around you to keep you safe and well.”
